Chapter 13

This time I decided to raid a different medical ward. It was a long time since I had picked

up those ampoules from ward ‘A’, but I didn’t want to take any chances by repeating my

performance there. They had probably discovered the theft and the nurse on duty perhaps

remembered my face. Not for its handsomeness, of course. In all probability, she had

faced flak from her seniors. For that reason, maybe, she lurked somewhere in those

wards, waiting to pounce upon me whenever I showed up next.

I chose ward ‘D’, the one in exactly the opposite direction to, and at a safe distance from,

ward ‘A’. Like before, I had carefully stuck a sticking plaster to cover my name on the

lab-coat. I couldn’t have been overcautious. I wondered if Kedar would have sponsored a

stethoscope for me to carry around the wards on such missions to help me masquerade as

a senior student.

I walked on a narrow passage towards the ward D and on the way I crossed a bunch of

students who surrounded a resident doctor. The resident doctor spoke loudly and his

words suggested that he was making concluding statements, and answering questions, on

a lecture that he had taken on a particular patient’s ailment, inside the ward. A few

students gazed at me quizzically as I passed, obviously failing to recognize me.

The group of students engrossed in educating themselves reminded me that I had bunked

the two of my own morning lectures. I hoped that no one missed me there.

After experiencing the electrical shock, I had holed up in the room for half and hour, debating

with myself on the options that lay before me. There was no point in reporting to anyone

about this. Kedar had a reputation and even if I managed to straighten myself out from

this mess by approaching the establishment, he could always get back to me, in several,

different, unpleasant ways, until I fled the university. As he had once said, ‘we have

nothing to lose’. In the end, after a good cry, I had modestly concluded that I had just two

options: One was to abide by the tormenting Kedar and the other was to disappear in thin

air. Though I started out to pursue the first option, I wished in my heart that I could take

the second one.

A small grilled gate outside the back-door of the ward was closed and a modest crowd

lingered around it. Many of these people held tiffin-carriers and/or thermos flasks. Some

even carried sets of clean clothes and bed-sheets. A uniformed security guard stood

beyond the locked gate holding a baton in his hands. A couple of men were trying to

cajole the security guard into smuggling them or their things inside. The scene confused

me for a moment but it soon dawned upon me that something important was taking place

inside the ward, important enough to keep the visitors out. I couldn’t recall a similar gate

outside ward A. Or maybe it was there but escaped my attention by being open and

unguarded at that time. Even as I tried to decide my next move, my eyes met those of the

guard. He stared at me for a second, perhaps in an attempt to recognize me, before

hurriedly opening the gate just enough to let a single person pass through. He then waved

his stick furiously at the crowd and said, “Get out of the way, move, let the doctor saab

enter.” I tried to hide my apprehension with a false straight face and squeezed my way

through the crowd. As I walked past the sentinel, I heard the clang of the Iron Gate

shutting with force. The guard murmured something about me being late and that the

professor would not be too pleased with me. He had taken me to be a senior student. And

a real professor walked loose somewhere inside.

I reached the nursing station to find it completely deserted, save for an aging ayah who

furiously mopped the floor with a liquid that smelt vaguely of phenyl. Ward D comprised

of two large halls, one on each side of the nursing station. One was for the male patients

and the other for the females. I was surprised by the pin-drop silence that gripped the

area, very much unlike the ward A. That afternoon, ward A had bustled with activity:

people moved freely in and out, clanging utensils from winding lunches filled the air,

ailing patients groaned, nurses shouted and children wailed.

“Where’s everyone?” I asked the ayah.

She paused the vigorous mopping for a moment and looked at me with a surprised face.

“Go inside,” she whispered in Gujarati, pointing inside the female section through the

glass pane of the nursing station, “You’re already late.”

I followed her pointing finger and located a group of students that surrounded the fourth

bed from the door. A tall, balding gentleman, who wore a long, full-sleeved lab-coat,

towered over the students. He appeared to speak to the group with meaningful

movements of his arms, as if trying hard to explain something. A platoon of nurses that

included at least one from every level in the hierarchy: the matron, the ward in-charge,

the assistant nurse and a couple of student nurses, all dressed in spotless white, stood in

attention. Several of them held an assortment of articles- stethoscope, examining

hammer, torch, clipboards, case-sheets etc. Some resident doctors, with bored faces,

stood a little away, perhaps indicating that whatever was being taught to the undergraduates

was too petty for them. I managed a peek at the patient on the bed. She was a

frail, elderly lady with gray, unkempt hair, who appeared visibly distressed by the

overwhelming gathering of doctors. At the moment she nervously fingered her IV line. I

concluded that the professor was in the midst of his morning rounds. Sudden panic

gripped me, as I felt trapped. My earlier escapade at ward A had gone pretty unnoticed,

perhaps because it was carried out in the late afternoon - a time of the day when most of

the staff and the doctors disappeared from the ward after enduring a hectic morning with

patients and their fresh complaints; their respective bosses and their fresh complaints.

But today I found myself in the meat of things. Before I could make up my mind for the

next move, I noticed a nurse break away from the group and move towards me. I geared

myself up to face her but my mind was unable to instantly think of an excuse for my

presence there.

“Are you from this batch?” she sounded too polite for her looks, and replied her own

question, “I don’t think I’ve seen you here before. What is it that you want?”

“Er.. I need to see the professor,” I said, trying to sound as convincing as possible, “I

want to consult him for my mother’s ailment.”

She smiled. “Of course, he’s one of the best doctors around. But you’ll have to wait for

some time, till he finishes with the rounds. You are…?”

“I am from the first MBBS,” I said hurriedly, deliberately avoiding my name.

“Oh,” she said, “you may sit here if you want while you wait for him to be free.”

“Thank-you, Sister,” I said and sat down on a chair. She left to rejoin the dull flock. I

waited with bated breath to see if any more heads turned my way. None did. Clearly, my

visit was unremarkable and medical students seeking off-time consultation from senior

doctors was perhaps an incumbent practice. I now had to wait for the ayah to do her

thing and move out. This was going to be easier than ward A, I thought.

The security guard did not care for a second glance at me before repeating the drill of

opening the gate just a little bit to let me squeeze out, and shooing off the hopeful

relatives away from the grill. He seemed to enjoy displaying his authority. The nurse

could make her own deductions about my sudden disappearance, if at all she remembered

me at the end of the rounds.

Once in the safe confines of an empty cubicle of the library, I pulled out the envelope

from my pocket and counted the ampoules. There were thirteen in all; I had almost

emptied the jar that contained the ampoules in the ward D.

It was eleven-thirty and there was no point in joining everyone at the dissection hall. I

would have to answer a lot of questions, which meant that I’d have to lie a lot. So it

wasn’t difficult to decide to go back to the hostel and feign an illness. But then, I didn’t

need to feign. I really felt ill.

On my way back, I reflected upon the months that I had spent at the medical college. All

the euphoria that had come with admission to a medical college had disappeared. So

much had happened in these few months that it was difficult to believe that so little time

had passed since my first day at college. It appeared as if my life had been more eventful

in these few months than it had ever been in all of my preceding life. Ankleshwar was

never more than a sleepy town and everyone seemed to lead a happy, if somewhat lazy,

life. There was no glamour, but no filth either. People seemed to care, and I had real

friends. I had friends who were like me- like me in every way: their upbringing, their

hobbies, interests, their likes and dislikes. No one made fun of anyone; there was no

exploitation, no hatred, and no jealousy. College life had all these ills. There were simply

too many people; too many students, too many teachers - professors, lecturers, tutors; and

no one seemed to care. I had done badly in exams for the first time in my life and my

teachers couldn’t care less. No one cared two hoots if I studied, attended classes or

smoked grass. There was so much competition everywhere and everyone was ready to

trample the other under his boots given the first chance. There was callousness and

indifference all around. I had been made an object of ridicule; I was being exploited by a

goon and I couldn’t do anything about it. The girl I cared for was too good for me,

belonging to a different society. Everyone seemed to belong to someplace up there.

Beyond my reach, above me. I was alone. And I got lost in this big, big world too

quickly, too hopelessly. I missed my parents, I missed my town, and I missed my school.

I longed for the tether that we had in school, I longed for the individual attention that we

got from the caring teachers there. Everyone at school seemed to care about what we

wore, ate or read. I hated growing up and I hated getting into the college.

Students everywhere actually longed to start a college life for the freedom that came with

it. I wasn’t too sure about my college life. I wasn’t ready for all this; too much was

happening too soon.

I paddled furiously to reach the hostel. I threw my bicycle recklessly in the parking and

rushed towards Kedar’s room. I had decided to have a word with him. The door to his

room was ajar. It was completely dark inside, as if the windows had been shut closed and

covered with thick, black blinds. I lifted the latch and firmly rapped it against the door.

There was no response. I was getting impatient and I no longer felt the fear. My pulse

was racing but I did not feel the terror. I was surprised by this sudden transformation in

me but I badly wanted it to last. I pushed the door gently and it opened with a loud,

purring sound. Rambo’s bed was occupied and the size told me he was on it. There was

no sign of Kedar. I turned and put on the light switch. The brightly lit up room revealed

its usual shabbiness. I flinched uninhibitedly and shook Rambo’s bed with all my

strength. The bed squeaked and creaked but Rambo didn’t move. On the contrary, his

snores got louder. I held the end of his blanket (he used one even in this heat) and yanked

it off him. Save for his brief, he was naked. The sluggish breeze from the fan quickly

dried the beads of perspiration on his exposed skin, cooling it immediately. The sudden

drop in the temperature woke Rambo up and he fished vigorously in the air for the

blanket. Unable to find one, he blinked his eyes repeatedly to the unexpected light. His

face contoured in an extremely unpleasant disfigurement. He let out stinking breath from

his mouth with heavy respiration as he sat up, completely disoriented in time, place and

person. He took his time to wake up fully and when he started digging the corners of his

eyes for muck, I knew he was ready to talk. I pulled a chair and vacated it of its myriad

contents before occupying it. Rambo stared at me with sleepy eyes and tried to place me.

When his head jerked back, I knew he had placed me. I’m not sure if he was surprised by

my bravado, because he did not show it.

“How are you doing?” I asked.

“Fine,” he said in an indistinct voice.

“I mean how’s your cancer thing?”

“The pain’s there…..hey you were supposed to get me those injections!”

“Yes, I was.”

“You got them?”

“Yes, I got them, Rambo, but I’m afraid, this is the last time I’ve got these for you.”

He was amazed by my straight talk and did not try to hide it. It was all over his face.

“You know what? Kedar tried to kill me for these injections.”

Rambo looked at me with a shudder. Clearly he was unaware of Kedar’s murderous

antics. “What?”

“Yes, Rambo, Kedar tried to kill me for these.” I brought out the envelope containing the

thirteen ampoules and tossed it at him. Rambo did not touch the envelope. He believed

me. He believed me because he knew Kedar better than me.

“He tried to kill me so that you could live some more without pain. Look here, Rambo,

I’m sorry that you have this dreadful disease but there surely must be another

way of getting these injections. I’m not going to burgle any more for you. Is that clear?” I

wondered if I had crossed my limits. All this would reach Kedar and he would retaliate.

Only I wasn’t all that afraid now. In fact, I wasn’t afraid at all of these goons. My

newfound gallantry surprised and confused me at the same time. I wondered if this was a

sort of inevitable reaction from me. As our physiology professor would later tell us, the

three sequential reactions of all animals to any kind of threat: fright, fight and flight.

Probably my ‘fright’ phase was over and now I was into the ‘fight’ part. I hoped badly

that the ‘flight’ part would not be needed.

Rambo continued to sit still. I got up and stood by his bed.

“Listen, Rambo,” I said, “I want to help you fight your disease. I can help you find a

good doctor. I can ask my professors about them. I can help you with the facilities at the

college hospital. Yes, I can exploit my position as a medical student and do the best that’s

possible for me to do, but please, please do not ask me to do this again. Don’t ask me,

because I won’t do it. Even if you all beat me and smash me to smithereens, I won’t do

it.” I didn’t look at Rambo’s face for a reaction and quietly slipped out of the room,

pausing just to switch off the light on my way out. The ball was in their court now. I just

had to wait for them to volley. Or simply shoot an ace.

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